Black Friday

Black Friday, a photo by customBRICKS on Flickr.

I've learned a few things over the years about Black Friday. You may loose your life. You may be severely beaten by an irate mother for grabbing the last Big Hugs Elmo off the shelf. It MAY take hours to find a parking spot and it WILL take hours waiting in line to check out.

Here are a few helpful suggestions for your next Black Friday shopping experience:

1. Have a fully paid off credit card handy so you can live beyond your means and purchase, purchase, purchase to your hearts content. You can deal with the blowback of Black Friday in January

2. Make sure to wear plenty of body armor and spiked accessories to ward off any other shoppers or to give you the advantage when rushing for the last toy on the shelf.

3. Make sure to stay hydrated with BrickStar Energy Drinks and keep a bottle of booze on hand to help you forget any unspeakable acts you committed while shopping. This may include: pushing over little kids, punching someone in the face, cleating a pile of people while scrambling over the frenzied mob.

4. Shopping carts are for Black Friday novices. Die hard veterans use pallets to purchase their items. Go big or go home.

5. Stay focused and keep your eye on the prize. This will let the other shoppes know that you are determined and will let nothing get in your way.